Couples Therapy
In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way.
The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It’s ‘our’ problem.
– John M. Gottman
You can’t go on like this.
Being together feels miserable. There was once so much love, closeness, and empathy. But now, the fighting and bickering are on a loop around all the same subjects: kids, in-laws, money, sex, chores. With no resolution ever reached, you feel powerless and alone.
How did it get this bad? We went into this with so much love. Where did we go wrong?
You wonder how your life would be different if you chose another person. Regret alternates with a fantasy of a life that is not yours. You’re committed but deeply unhappy.
The garden of your relationship is dying – with weeds replacing flowers.
You realize that you need help to turn things around.
Couples therapy offers people a place to understand their challenges and provides tools to minimize misunderstandings and continually grow closer. As a couples therapist, I push both partners to look at themselves constructively, take responsibility for their current relationship, and hold hope for the other that things can change.
Couples will initially learn and practice communication tools so both parties feel heard and understood. Mindsets shift back to being a team instead of islands. Resentments are aired and worked through, so they don’t lead to blow-ups or passive-aggressive behavior.
Then we will go deeper, if necessary, and get into family issues, traumas, and patterns that are keeping you walled off, feeling alone and misunderstood.
Imagine new tools for your garden, allowing you to prune the branches, eliminate the weeds, and allow light to come in.
You can enjoy your relationship again!
We will work together to not only reconnect you but bring more joy, passion, fun, and sex into your relationship.
You won’t agree on everything but will listen to and respect each other again, having more energy to arrive at creative solutions to your problems. You are both responsible for the thriving of your relationship.
You will feel better understood at completion with clear steps to move forward as a team, enjoying the relationship you want.
The garden of your relationship flourishes with exciting new growth, and as partners, you feel satisfaction with all your work. The garden is a much happier place to exist now.
Don’t let another day go by feeling disconnected and lonely in your relationship.
Contact me to begin tending your relationship.